Lindsey Bayne Still waters
May 14, we had prayerfully made the decision to temporarily leave our home in Brazil and fly to the states. Having 2 children in the middle of a failing economy and unstable health system during a pandemic played a major role in This decision.
A month into the states, Tim and I (Lindsey) were recovering from Covid and struggling to find our footing. What’s our plan? How do we do school for our kids? And many other questions.
2 1/2 months in, I was having anxiety, very vivid and emotion filled dreams of our Brazilian home and neighbors. I struggled with my core identity. I felt empty. I woke in the middle of the night feeling pure grief. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being able to hike the close trails I had missed, sitting and laughing with my dear family that I greatly missed, and worshiping in our home church! Now, 5 months in- I look back and see how the Lord gently carried us.
Many times, I saw Psalm 23 written out somewhere or literally felt the words about my Shepherd on my heart. Nobody can comfort a human soul like the Holy Spirit. NOBODY.
He really does lead His sheep (all of those who follow Him) to still waters and Abundant green pastures, because He knows what we need before we do. Those still waters and abundant green pastures may not look like anything you had in mind. They might even be intimidating or so “off the path” you had in mind to go down.
Believe me. I know how that feels. Even though it stirred up much sadness and deep questioning, We have never regretted the decision to temporarily leave Brazil.
We now know that the Lord has us here to find rest and healing in ways we didn’t know we needed. We were diagnosed with COVID 2 days after landing in the states, we more than likely had COVID before we traveled and just didn’t realize it. See how the Lord worked there? I was so knee deep in our work in Brazil, that I pushed through the very faint body aches and fatigue I was experiencing. Little did I know that there was pneumonia beginning to grow in me. Our son has been able to tap into strong reading resources that he had needed for quite some time, which has also helped him with the emotional chaos he would experience weekly.
Our pre teen daughter confessed that she had began to believe that her identity was in being a missionary kid and since her family were missionaries, that replaced her need for a daily intimate relationship with Jesus.
Oh. And our marriage, wow. We have had the chance to step back and re learn what makes eachother tick, how we cope differently, and help each other get plugged into opportunities to help each other grow.
As we see this as a time for rest and growth, our hope is that you’ll lean into your Shepherd’s guidance in every circumstance that comes your way. For the path of the Lord always leads His sheep to what they need.